Here’s a new poem I started working on today. It’s not finished yet - not sure if I will finish it. Sometimes I have a flash of inspiration and I’ll start writing, and then I want to do something else and not think about things (when I’m writing about depressing things that is). So I let it sit and marinate. Sometimes the inspiration fades and the poem stays a fragment, sometimes I’ll pick it back up later and finish it. So - not sure where this one will end up. In any event - here it is….

This runaround - I can’t take it
Anymore but I can’t shake it
The feelings burst I can’t control it
My mistake always console it
Wisdom earned I foresake it
Heart still beats after I break it (again)
License to dream - I now revoke it
Put this dream in my pipe and smoke it

There’s just no way
not today
There’s nothing left
for me to say
Seem to imply
but feelings lie
No right or wrong
And there’s no why
My hopes are lies
This is my prize
For the way things are
It’s no surprise
There’s just no way
Not today…
Not ever!
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So that’s all I have for now. I kinda like it, so I hope I do finish it at some point. I am really blessed, and I know it. Life has been pretty good to me, more or less, since I got divorced in 2005. But when I was younger, I always thought I’d be married to an awesome woman (my ex was not an awesome woman - not to or for me anyway), and we’d have some kids, by the time I was in my 40s. I’ve always loved kids. But I’m here alone, and I’m just depressed about it right now.

So I have to think about other things instead. It’s too easy to wallow in the things in your life that aren’t going the way you want them to, and turn a blind eye to your blessings. It’s too easy to feel sorry for yourself. So I’m going to move on right now. Maybe when I’m feeling more upbeat, I’ll come back and finish this poem and try to put a spin like that on it. We’ll see….

B

  1. commonterry posted this